I'm sometimes slow to figure things out. It often takes me a week or two to really understand what's going on with me emotionally. It's taken me that long to figure out why I'm so personally bugged by the recent changes at TechTV, for instance. I finally realized that for the past three years I've been able to do something I'm really good at: Call for Help. I fit that show like a hand in a glove. I didn't understand at the time how exceptional that was.
Now I'm doing something I'm just OK at. Something that apparently serves the company's needs better. But I miss that feeling of fitting the job perfectly.
Perhaps some day I'll feel just as fulfilled by The Screen Savers. But for now, I miss the feeling of vocation. Call for Help was my calling. This feels more like a job. A really good job, true, but still a job.
Hey, I'm not complaining. I'm very happy to be doing what I'm doing. I'd be a jerk not to be insanely grateful for the opportunities I have. Heck, I'm grateful that I had three years of Call for Help. That's more than I ever expected. But once you've had that feeling of answering a calling, it's hard to accept anything less.